Saturday, March 31, 2018

Everything I need to learn in life I learn from running!

Sweating it out in spin class to Freddy and Bowie singing 'This is our last dance, This is ourselves, Under Pressure' I started thinking about the pressure I had put myself under with this last retirement marathon.  This is the third consecutive year I have signed up for a big deal race then found myself on that tightrope of injury and health, running Boston on 3 weeks of training last year, 6 the year before.  Why do I keep doing this to myself I ask, the same old dance?  This one was even more complex than Boston, London means a lot of travel, its a bucket list race, plus the large fundraising target, the dinners with well wishers family and friends before and after the race.  Two weeks ago it seemed like a terrific idea, I was feeling awesome, had just completed my first 20 miler, and the body actually felt as though it was finally making some adaptions in terms of strength after a solid 9 weeks of training.  The day after the 20 miler I didn't wake up groaning, I actually felt good.  I managed a short recovery run of 3 miles and did a roll call of body parts - heel, check, OK, calves, good, in one piece, hammys', a little tight but still holding.  Yay only 5 weeks to race day and the uninterrupted weeks of training was starting to take.

The next day I headed to pilates and then did an easy 6 miler - we worked hard, lots of hip and adductor work at Crunch.  It is so important to keep up the vital strength work in marathon training right?  The next day was a long tempo, my hips felt really heavy and I nearly bagged it, but the impending week of rain made me press on and I hit all the times I wanted to do.  Success!  I took a recovery day of hot yoga the next day, then ran easy Wednesday and Thursday.  Friday came around and time for another 18 mile and my left leg just felt like crud from the start.  By mile 3 it loosened up a little, by mile 6 it decide to go the other way and to stiffen up ominously.  At mile 7 I decided to turn around and reduce to a 14 mile run, then in driving rain for the next 2 miles the leg got rapidly worse, until I pulled into Wholefoods and sheepishly called Guy to pick me up as I was now full on limping, dripping wet and thoroughly miserable.

A week is a long time in running, so I rested and rested, did some gentle yoga classes, took some ibuprofen, hobbled to the wonderful Dr Rudy, then rested some more.  Nothing changed.  No pain unless I ran.  So I have been spinning and going to yoga and waiting.....This week I took a visit to the orthopedist to rule out anything sinister like pelvic fractures or bone spurs on the hip, all good it has to be a muscle - so back to brinkmanship and hoping the next 3 weeks sees more improvement.

I was born a perfectionist, a planner, someone who believes the devil is in the detail, who doesn't do things by halves.   I have never been flexible, able to shoot from the hip, chaos scares me and anyone who knows me, knows I can be a total control freak.  Ofcourse is exactly why I need running in my life? Running dictates that you are not the one who gets to make the decisions, that there is a randomness in the universe that is much bigger than you.  It forces you to remain fully in the present and not look backwards of forwards as you realize fixating in any other direction simpy doesn't serve you.

Strava keeps trying to get my attention but I ignore it, same with garmin connect, and the Facebook group page for the excited marathoners, and I am trying hard to chill and just be.  Turbulent events in my coaching life also meant that I haven't had a minute for myself anyway, so maybe it was just as well I couldn't go for 20 mile runs and sit in ice baths, there has been no time for that.

It occurred to me that it would be really easy to give up on running, and coaching right now as both seem to be fraught with problems.  However, I can't help but think that the latest set back is just another much needed lesson for me in dealing in the here and now, and not worrying too much about the future events that I can't control.

I'm down, but not yet out.